K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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