Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I didn't notice because vodka
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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