Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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