I cannot find my penis.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
