do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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