Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
