Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
