I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
