Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He has the fingertips of a God
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