Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
These tits shall not be calmed
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
