I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
