1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
