You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
