my mouth tastes like poor choices
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
