idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
