then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
