I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
