Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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