Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
