My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
