I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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