Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
