I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
