I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
