also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
