Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
