After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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