I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
