He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
