i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
