Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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