Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
