chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
