Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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