Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
