i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
