There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
