it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
