Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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