theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
birth control should be required to get into college
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
