What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
