I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
