oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He has the fingertips of a God
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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