We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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