and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
