so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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