idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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