It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
