as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
