ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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