ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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