I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
